enough intimate house parties could cure everything that’s ever been wrong with me
One of my favorite genres of post
Orange cats need to be named ‘just some guy’-esque names. I see orange cats that are named Patrick or Dave or Bob and I’m like “yeah, exactly”. My orange cat is named Tommy even though she’s a girl because she’s truly a Tommy.
Henry Croutons…..
trying not to bawl in class over henry croutons
Yeah you're right. It WOULD be pretty fucked up if you were a swan but you were raised by ducks and you grew up never seeing another swan or even knowing that such a thing as a swan even existed so you just thought you were a duck with something super wrong with it.
ALT
ALT
ALT
some time ago i introduced the phrase "food pact" to my friends as a shorthand for "i'll go make and eat food if you also make and eat food" and ever since then ive just started incorporating more pacts into my life. stay hydrated pact. stretch break pact. stop doomscrolling and go to bed pact. we need to bring this back in vogue more people should be making pacts imo
the best part of this is when you ask "who wants to do a shower pact" and you get a half dozen friends all rolling up saying "the pact is sealed". faustian behavior
my mom loves to lie and like she always swears she was NEVER homophobic or anything to me as a child “i even have a gay work friend” but a really funny memory resurfaced recently where i asked if i could use birthday money i had to buy a rainbow flag when i was like ??? 7?? because i LOVED rainbows. and she said no that means something Evil and god will hate you . so what did i do. but ask my grandmom for a rainbow sweater for christmas and proceed to only wear that sweater for three years when it got cold because i didnt like the idea that god hated colors and i wanted to challenge him
normal 7 year old with religious trauma: oh no god can hear my thoughts and punish me
me: either you are wrong about god or god is wrong and i will fight him and i will be the one to find out
me at 7: he would not fucking say that
Plane flight home. Guy holding up the TSA line because he is trying to bring a live cat on board. No harness. No carrier. Just a loose armful of cat.
TSA agent is clearly beyond pissed, but also doesn't really know how to respond.
They just sent him through. TSA told him to wait while someone "found a carrier."
The guy looked sheepish and confused. Like, he didn't even realize, the cat was gonna be a problem. Also, calmest cat I've ever seen.